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by Tom Grant

Solving a mystery isn't always an investigator's most difficult job.
Breaking down barriers of communication between a private investigator and
the police detectives can often be next to impossible. On Sunday, April
3,1994, I was hired by Courtney Love to try to locate her husband, Kurt

Since the discovery of Kurt's body on April 8th, my investigation has
continued into the mysteries surrounding the event of his death. During the
initial phase of this investigation, mistakes were made by the police and
by myself. That's going to happen in any complex case.

Attempts may be made to discredit me or the work I've done to detract from
what I have to say. If that tactic is attempted by anyone directly involved
in this case, a word to the wise, I may take some nicks and scrapes here
and there but no matter how much money, power or influence you think you
have, you'll be shooting BBs at a cannon.

Kurt Cobain wanted out. He wanted out of performing on tour, he wanted out
of his band, he wanted out of the business that was pressuring him to
produce his music instead of simply playing. But Kurt Cobain did not want
out of life.

Regardless of what the Seattle police and King County Medical Examiner's
have said, Kurt Cobain died Sunday evening, April 3rd or early Monday
morning, April 4th. Although he may have been seen at the local park by the
lake on Sunday, April 3rd, anyone claiming to have seen him after 7:30 AM
on Monday morning is either lying or they don't really exist. Most
information about these "witnesses" has been deliberately planted in the

At least two people knew Kurt was dead before I was sent to Seattle to
search for him on Wednesday, April 6th.

Contrary to the police reports, a substantial amount of evidence indicates
the note found at the scene was not a suicide note. It was not written to
Courtney and Frances. It was a long, detailed letter written to Kurt's fans
with a very short footnote to Frances and Courtney.

The letter explained Cobain's decision to quit touring and stop performing
with his band. Kurt was leaving Seattle to go East and stay with friends.
He wanted to be left alone. He didn't want anyone to follow including his
wife. That is what this letter is all about. That is ALL this letter is
about. The body of the letter was written by Kurt with the exception of the
following words added at the bottom, "Which will be so much happier without
me. I love you, I love you". Those words appear to have been added by
someone else without Kurt's knowledge.

This has been a long and tedious investigation. It's also been a delicate
balancing act, staying in a place where I could continue gathering
information while at the same time maintaining integrity with regard to one
of my clients.


Most parents and others over thirty years of age don't understand what this
is all about. They see Kurt's death a "another junkie bites the dust." I
probably would have felt the same way if I hadn't become so deeply involved
in this case and in the events of Kurt's death.

No one is more anti-drug than I am. What most parents don't understand is
that kids didn't look up to Kurt because he used drugs, they looked up to
him because of his talent and the fact that he was basically an honest
person who didn't believe in corruption which is often brought on by greed
and the pursuit of the almighty dollar.

Drug addiction is one of the worst problems our country faces. It's one of
the most dangerous and destructive personal problems an individual can

But drug addiction is still just a flaw. It's a mistake... it's bad
judgment. Kurt wasn't proud of the fact that he was a junkie, but he was
honest about it! He didn't like the negative influence he had on kids
because of his heroin addiction.

As we throw darts of criticism at the drug addict, how many of us can say
that our own flaws and imperfections deserve any less condemnation. I do
believe there are some evil self- centered people in the world, but I also
believe skid row houses a lot of really good people who've suffered
rejection because arrogance has overshadowed compassion.

Most of us were idealists when we were young. The pressures of having to
pay bills and support families can sometimes cause people with good
intentions to begin compromising values in order to compete with dishonest
competitors. Some of us have struggled financially over the years because
we've attempted not to give in to those compromises.

Kurt was determined not to let greed control his life. He lost some minor
battles on occasion because of pressure from a few of those around him, but
flaws and all, this guy was for real! I grew to admire Kurt as I learned
more about him.

I've been getting letters from young people who tell me they were so
depressed after Kurt's death that they had considered suicide also. I
realize several actually have.

Please don't ever allow anything that someone else does to influence you so
much that you could take your own life. Never let depression get the best
of you. Everyone goes through hard times, but life really is worth living
if you make the best of what you've been given.

When you get down, just look around. There's always someone close by who
has it a lot worse and has found a way to cope.

You've probably heard this before, but it bears repeating here. Suicide is

Keep your eyes and ears open. We're up against some pretty powerful and
wealthy people here. We may have to slow down occasionally to climb over
obstacles put in our way.

It may take some time... but the job will get done.


On The Inside

Courtney's personality may be described by reporters and writers as,
flamboyant, frivolous, and provocative. But Courtney uses her baby doll
appearance, her rambling oratories and her sometimes outrageous behavior to
cover a host of psychological problems.

As an investigator looking for answers to a mysterious death, I viewed
Courtney from an entirely different perspective than most.

I found Courtney to be extremely intelligent. She's also a psychopath, a
pathological liar, and an opportunist who will use anyone and any situation
to self-promote her ambitious goals of fame and fortune.

No, I'm not a psychologist. Courtney's unbalanced mental condition is so
obvious that I don't believe it takes someone with a degree in psychology
to identify the problem. The media may see Courtney as a person who's
interesting. I see Courtney as a person who's dangerous.

Courtney's specialty is an uncanny ability to manipulate men to suit her
purposes and to serve her needs. She changes her personality like a
chameleon. She's adept at becoming the victim whenever she's criticized.
She frequently puts on her baby doll act of sweetness and vulnerability
while readily admitting, " I never claimed to be an angel." Courtney can
cry on a whim. She uses that ability to gain sympathy.

Courtney will also admit to being a liar and an opportunist. She wears
these titles as badges of honor, often using her habitual lying as an
alibi! This most often confuses the observer. In doing so, she's allowed to
get away with her schemes. Her antics are usually excused with a shrug,
"Well, that's just Courtney!"

What's really going on inside this chaotic mind? Listen closely while
Courtney speaks. Read her interviews carefully. She'll tell you in her own


April 3, 1994

" In my world, people are pretty scared of me, so they don't f--k with


August, 1994

"Brilliant, yes, but a rock star? Kurt? No. I was going to be the more famous of the two of us."

"I finally said, 'I'm not on this earth to f--k a rock star, I'm here to BE
a rock star.' I would create myself."


Dec. 15, 1994

"My thing is, 'Don't f--k with me. In real life... real, real life, I'm
supersensitive.' "

"My goal keeps me alive... But if you think you're going to stop me from
going where I'm going, you're not going to do it."


Aug. 12, 1994

(A quote from an America On-line post...
to those who she claimed were trying to exploit Kurt's death)...

"I'm on fire, you f---ers... be afraid... be very f---ing afraid."